This afternoon as I was vacuuming the hallways of the Death Star, I overheard Darth Sidious and Darth Vader talking in Sidious' private office. Well, okay, I had to turn off the vacuum to overhear anything...and some Admiral was singing in the shower down the hall so I had to put my ear close to the door to hear anything, but what I heard makes me a little uneasy.
This is what I heard:
Darth Sidious said, "Darth Vader, I have found out that Bail Organa, you know, Princess Leia's dad, is having his 60th big bang birthday party this week. You know what that means?"
"Oh yes!" replied Vader, "It means they will probably have one of those big three tier chocolate cakes with white icing and those little edible decorations! Oh it makes my stomach growl just thinking about--"
"VADER! Concentrate! Yes it means cake, but it doesn't mean that it will be exactly the kind of cake they're expecting... hee hee!"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean," said Sidious, "that I will pull out the pink aprons and reopen our Rainbow Valley Bakery. We then put all the other bakeries out of business for a week. That way, the Organa's will HAVE to order from us. We will then put some...special ingredients into Organa's cake and then give it to him. When he eats the cake, he'll get knocked out and we can then capture him and hold him for ransom! It's brilliant!"
"Why don't we just send some Storm Troopers in, overpower their men, and then capture him?" asked Lord Vader.
"Too messy, too messy. Anyways, this is far more subtle and ingenious!"
"I don't know," said Vader skeptically, "how did you find this out?"
"Oh some creature named Chewbacca has created a website call whatweknowaboutpeoplethattheydontwantyoutofindout.com. (Otherwise known as Wookieleaks.)"
"Well, alright. I guess it is a good plan," said Darth Vader, "I'll go into the attic and get down the aprons."
It was at this point that I resumed my vacuuming with a disturbed mind. I don't know if the pink aprons are such a good idea...